PS

Homework

SCENE I. Padua. BAPTISTA'S house.

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Enter LUCENTIO, HORTENSIO, and BIANCA

Fiddler, forbear; you grow too forward, sir:
Have you so soon forgot the entertainment
Her sister Katharina welcomed you withal?

But, wrangling pedant, this is
The patroness of heavenly harmony:
Then give me leave to have prerogative;
And when in music we have spent an hour,
Your lecture shall have leisure for as much.

Preposterous ass, that never read so far
To know the cause why music was ordain'd!
Was it not to refresh the mind of man
After his studies or his usual pain?
Then give me leave to read philosophy,
And while I pause, serve in your harmony.

Sirrah, I will not bear these braves of thine.

Why, gentlemen, you do me double wrong,
To strive for that which resteth in my choice:
I am no breeching scholar in the schools;
I'll not be tied to hours nor 'pointed times,
But learn my lessons as I please myself.
And, to cut off all strife, here sit we down:
Take you your instrument, play you the whiles;
His lecture will be done ere you have tuned.

You'll leave his lecture when I am in tune?

That will be never: tune your instrument.

Where left we last?

Here, madam:
'Hic ibat Simois; hic est Sigeia tellus;
Hic steterat Priami regia celsa senis.'

Construe them.

'Hic ibat,' as I told you before, 'Simois,' I am
Lucentio, 'hic est,' son unto Vincentio of Pisa,
'Sigeia tellus,' disguised thus to get your love;
'Hic steterat,' and that Lucentio that comes
a-wooing, 'Priami,' is my man Tranio, 'regia,'
bearing my port, 'celsa senis,' that we might
beguile the old pantaloon.

Madam, my instrument's in tune.

Let's hear. O fie! the treble jars.

Spit in the hole, man, and tune again.

Now let me see if I can construe it: 'Hic ibat
Simois,' I know you not, 'hic est Sigeia tellus,' I
trust you not; 'Hic steterat Priami,' take heed
he hear us not, 'regia,' presume not, 'celsa senis,'
despair not.

Madam, 'tis now in tune.

All but the base.

The base is right; 'tis the base knave that jars.

Aside

How fiery and forward our pedant is!
Now, for my life, the knave doth court my love:
Pedascule, I'll watch you better yet.

In time I may believe, yet I mistrust.

Mistrust it not: for, sure, AEacides
Was Ajax, call'd so from his grandfather.

I must believe my master; else, I promise you,
I should be arguing still upon that doubt:
But let it rest. Now, Licio, to you:
Good masters, take it not unkindly, pray,
That I have been thus pleasant with you both.

You may go walk, and give me leave a while:
My lessons make no music in three parts.

Are you so formal, sir? well, I must wait,

Aside

And watch withal; for, but I be deceived,
Our fine musician groweth amorous.

Madam, before you touch the instrument,
To learn the order of my fingering,
I must begin with rudiments of art;
To teach you gamut in a briefer sort,
More pleasant, pithy and effectual,
Than hath been taught by any of my trade:
And there it is in writing, fairly drawn.

Why, I am past my gamut long ago.

Yet read the gamut of Hortensio.

[Reads] ''Gamut' I am, the ground of all accord,
'A re,' to Plead Hortensio's passion;
'B mi,' Bianca, take him for thy lord,
'C fa ut,' that loves with all affection:
'D sol re,' one clef, two notes have I:
'E la mi,' show pity, or I die.'
Call you this gamut? tut, I like it not:
Old fashions please me best; I am not so nice,
To change true rules for old inventions.

Enter a Servant

Mistress, your father prays you leave your books
And help to dress your sister's chamber up:
You know to-morrow is the wedding-day.

Farewell, sweet masters both; I must be gone.

Exeunt BIANCA and Servant

Faith, mistress, then I have no cause to stay.

Exit

But I have cause to pry into this pedant:
Methinks he looks as though he were in love:
Yet if thy thoughts, Bianca, be so humble
To cast thy wandering eyes on every stale,
Seize thee that list: if once I find thee ranging,
Hortensio will be quit with thee by changing.

Exit

SCENE II. Padua. Before BAPTISTA'S house.

Enter TRANIO and HORTENSIO

Is't possible, friend Licio, that Mistress Bianca
Doth fancy any other but Lucentio?
I tell you, sir, she bears me fair in hand.

Sir, to satisfy you in what I have said,
Stand by and mark the manner of his teaching.

Enter BIANCA and LUCENTIO

Now, mistress, profit you in what you read?

What, master, read you? first resolve me that.

I read that I profess, the Art to Love.

And may you prove, sir, master of your art!

While you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart!

Quick proceeders, marry! Now, tell me, I pray,
You that durst swear at your mistress Bianca
Loved none in the world so well as Lucentio.

O despiteful love! unconstant womankind!
I tell thee, Licio, this is wonderful.

Mistake no more: I am not Licio,
Nor a musician, as I seem to be;
But one that scorn to live in this disguise,
For such a one as leaves a gentleman,
And makes a god of such a cullion:
Know, sir, that I am call'd Hortensio.

Signior Hortensio, I have often heard
Of your entire affection to Bianca;
And since mine eyes are witness of her lightness,
I will with you, if you be so contented,
Forswear Bianca and her love for ever.

See, how they kiss and court! Signior Lucentio,
Here is my hand, and here I firmly vow
Never to woo her no more, but do forswear her,
As one unworthy all the former favours
That I have fondly flatter'd her withal.

And here I take the unfeigned oath,
Never to marry with her though she would entreat:
Fie on her! see, how beastly she doth court him!

Would all the world but he had quite forsworn!
For me, that I may surely keep mine oath,
I will be married to a wealthy widow,
Ere three days pass, which hath as long loved me
As I have loved this proud disdainful haggard.
And so farewell, Signior Lucentio.
Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks,
Shall win my love: and so I take my leave,
In resolution as I swore before.

Exit

Mistress Bianca, bless you with such grace
As 'longeth to a lover's blessed case!
Nay, I have ta'en you napping, gentle love,
And have forsworn you with Hortensio.

Tranio, you jest: but have you both forsworn me?

Mistress, we have.

Then we are rid of Licio.

I' faith, he'll have a lusty widow now,
That shall be wood and wedded in a day.

God give him joy!

Ay, and he'll tame her.

He says so, Tranio.

Faith, he is gone unto the taming-school.

The taming-school! what, is there such a place?

Ay, mistress, and Petruchio is the master;
That teacheth tricks eleven and twenty long,
To tame a shrew and charm her chattering tongue.

Enter BIONDELLO

O master, master, I have watch'd so long
That I am dog-weary: but at last I spied
An ancient angel coming down the hill,
Will serve the turn.

What is he, Biondello?

Master, a mercatante, or a pedant,
I know not what; but format in apparel,
In gait and countenance surely like a father.

And what of him, Tranio?

If he be credulous and trust my tale,
I'll make him glad to seem Vincentio,
And give assurance to Baptista Minola,
As if he were the right Vincentio
Take in your love, and then let me alone.

Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA

Enter a Pedant

God save you, sir!

And you, sir! you are welcome.
Travel you far on, or are you at the farthest?

Sir, at the farthest for a week or two:
But then up farther, and as for as Rome;
And so to Tripoli, if God lend me life.

What countryman, I pray?

Of Mantua.

Of Mantua, sir? marry, God forbid!
And come to Padua, careless of your life?

My life, sir! how, I pray? for that goes hard.

'Tis death for any one in Mantua
To come to Padua. Know you not the cause?
Your ships are stay'd at Venice, and the duke,
For private quarrel 'twixt your duke and him,
Hath publish'd and proclaim'd it openly:
'Tis, marvel, but that you are but newly come,
You might have heard it else proclaim'd about.

Alas! sir, it is worse for me than so;
For I have bills for money by exchange
From Florence and must here deliver them.

Well, sir, to do you courtesy,
This will I do, and this I will advise you:
First, tell me, have you ever been at Pisa?

Ay, sir, in Pisa have I often been,
Pisa renowned for grave citizens.

Among them know you one Vincentio?

I know him not, but I have heard of him;
A merchant of incomparable wealth.

He is my father, sir; and, sooth to say,
In countenance somewhat doth resemble you.

[Aside] As much as an apple doth an oyster,
and all one.

To save your life in this extremity,
This favour will I do you for his sake;
And think it not the worst of an your fortunes
That you are like to Sir Vincentio.
His name and credit shall you undertake,
And in my house you shall be friendly lodged:
Look that you take upon you as you should;
You understand me, sir: so shall you stay
Till you have done your business in the city:
If this be courtesy, sir, accept of it.

O sir, I do; and will repute you ever
The patron of my life and liberty.

Then go with me to make the matter good.
This, by the way, I let you understand;
my father is here look'd for every day,
To pass assurance of a dower in marriage
'Twixt me and one Baptista's daughter here:
In all these circumstances I'll instruct you:
Go with me to clothe you as becomes you.

Exeunt

SCENE IV. Padua. Before BAPTISTA'S house.

Enter TRANIO, and the Pedant dressed like VINCENTIO

Sir, this is the house: please it you that I call?

Ay, what else? and but I be deceived
Signior Baptista may remember me,
Near twenty years ago, in Genoa,
Where we were lodgers at the Pegasus.

'Tis well; and hold your own, in any case,
With such austerity as 'longeth to a father.

I warrant you.

Enter BIONDELLO

But, sir, here comes your boy;
'Twere good he were school'd.

Fear you not him. Sirrah Biondello,
Now do your duty throughly, I advise you:
Imagine 'twere the right Vincentio.

Tut, fear not me.

But hast thou done thy errand to Baptista?

I told him that your father was at Venice,
And that you look'd for him this day in Padua.

Thou'rt a tall fellow: hold thee that to drink.
Here comes Baptista: set your countenance, sir.

Enter BAPTISTA and LUCENTIO

Signior Baptista, you are happily met.

To the Pedant

Sir, this is the gentleman I told you of:
I pray you stand good father to me now,
Give me Bianca for my patrimony.

Soft son!
Sir, by your leave: having come to Padua
To gather in some debts, my son Lucentio
Made me acquainted with a weighty cause
Of love between your daughter and himself:
And, for the good report I hear of you
And for the love he beareth to your daughter
And she to him, to stay him not too long,
I am content, in a good father's care,
To have him match'd; and if you please to like
No worse than I, upon some agreement
Me shall you find ready and willing
With one consent to have her so bestow'd;
For curious I cannot be with you,
Signior Baptista, of whom I hear so well.

Sir, pardon me in what I have to say:
Your plainness and your shortness please me well.
Right true it is, your son Lucentio here
Doth love my daughter and she loveth him,
Or both dissemble deeply their affections:
And therefore, if you say no more than this,
That like a father you will deal with him
And pass my daughter a sufficient dower,
The match is made, and all is done:
Your son shall have my daughter with consent.

I thank you, sir. Where then do you know best
We be affied and such assurance ta'en
As shall with either part's agreement stand?

Not in my house, Lucentio; for, you know,
Pitchers have ears, and I have many servants:
Besides, old Gremio is hearkening still;
And happily we might be interrupted.

Then at my lodging, an it like you:
There doth my father lie; and there, this night,
We'll pass the business privately and well.
Send for your daughter by your servant here:
My boy shall fetch the scrivener presently.
The worst is this, that, at so slender warning,
You are like to have a thin and slender pittance.

It likes me well. Biondello, hie you home,
And bid Bianca make her ready straight;
And, if you will, tell what hath happened,
Lucentio's father is arrived in Padua,
And how she's like to be Lucentio's wife.

I pray the gods she may with all my heart!

Dally not with the gods, but get thee gone.

Exit BIONDELLO

Signior Baptista, shall I lead the way?
Welcome! one mess is like to be your cheer:
Come, sir; we will better it in Pisa.

I follow you.

Exeunt TRANIO, Pedant, and BAPTISTA

Re-enter BIONDELLO

Cambio!

What sayest thou, Biondello?

You saw my master wink and laugh upon you?

Biondello, what of that?

Faith, nothing; but has left me here behind, to
expound the meaning or moral of his signs and tokens.

I pray thee, moralize them.

Then thus. Baptista is safe, talking with the
deceiving father of a deceitful son.

And what of him?

His daughter is to be brought by you to the supper.

And then?

The old priest of Saint Luke's church is at your
command at all hours.

And what of all this?

I cannot tell; expect they are busied about a
counterfeit assurance: take you assurance of her,
'cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum:' to the
church; take the priest, clerk, and some sufficient
honest witnesses: If this be not that you look for,
I have no more to say, But bid Bianca farewell for
ever and a day.

Hearest thou, Biondello?

I cannot tarry: I knew a wench married in an
afternoon as she went to the garden for parsley to
stuff a rabbit; and so may you, sir: and so, adieu,
sir. My master hath appointed me to go to Saint
Luke's, to bid the priest be ready to come against
you come with your appendix.

Exit

I may, and will, if she be so contented:
She will be pleased; then wherefore should I doubt?
Hap what hap may, I'll roundly go about her:
It shall go hard if Cambio go without her.

Exit

Next: Students

SCENE I. Padua. Before LUCENTIO'S house.

GREMIO discovered. Enter behind BIONDELLO, LUCENTIO, and BIANCA

Softly and swiftly, sir; for the priest is ready.

I fly, Biondello: but they may chance to need thee
at home; therefore leave us.

Nay, faith, I'll see the church o' your back; and
then come back to my master's as soon as I can.

Exeunt LUCENTIO, BIANCA, and BIONDELLO

I marvel Cambio comes not all this while.

Enter PETRUCHIO, KATHARINA, VINCENTIO, GRUMIO, with Attendants

Sir, here's the door, this is Lucentio's house:
My father's bears more toward the market-place;
Thither must I, and here I leave you, sir.

You shall not choose but drink before you go:
I think I shall command your welcome here,
And, by all likelihood, some cheer is toward.

Knocks

They're busy within; you were best knock louder.

Pedant looks out of the window

What's he that knocks as he would beat down the gate?

Is Signior Lucentio within, sir?

He's within, sir, but not to be spoken withal.

What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two, to
make merry withal?

Keep your hundred pounds to yourself: he shall
need none, so long as I live.

Nay, I told you your son was well beloved in Padua.
Do you hear, sir? To leave frivolous circumstances,
I pray you, tell Signior Lucentio that his father is
come from Pisa, and is here at the door to speak with him.

Thou liest: his father is come from Padua and here
looking out at the window.

Art thou his father?

Ay, sir; so his mother says, if I may believe her.

[To VINCENTIO] Why, how now, gentleman! why, this
is flat knavery, to take upon you another man's name.

Lay hands on the villain: I believe a' means to
cozen somebody in this city under my countenance.

Re-enter BIONDELLO

I have seen them in the church together: God send
'em good shipping! But who is here? mine old
master Vincentio! now we are undone and brought to nothing.

[Seeing BIONDELLO]
Come hither, crack-hemp.

Hope I may choose, sir.

Come hither, you rogue. What, have you forgot me?

Forgot you! no, sir: I could not forget you, for I
never saw you before in all my life.

What, you notorious villain, didst thou never see
thy master's father, Vincentio?

What, my old worshipful old master? yes, marry, sir:
see where he looks out of the window.

Is't so, indeed.

Beats BIONDELLO

Help, help, help! here's a madman will murder me.

Exit

Help, son! help, Signior Baptista!

Exit from above

Prithee, Kate, let's stand aside and see the end of
this controversy.

They retire

Re-enter Pedant below; TRANIO, BAPTISTA, and Servants

Sir, what are you that offer to beat my servant?

What am I, sir! nay, what are you, sir? O immortal
gods! O fine villain! A silken doublet! a velvet
hose! a scarlet cloak! and a copatain hat! O, I
am undone! I am undone! while I play the good
husband at home, my son and my servant spend all at
the university.

How now! what's the matter?

What, is the man lunatic?

Sir, you seem a sober ancient gentleman by your
habit, but your words show you a madman. Why, sir,
what 'cerns it you if I wear pearl and gold? I
thank my good father, I am able to maintain it.

Thy father! O villain! he is a sailmaker in Bergamo.

You mistake, sir, you mistake, sir. Pray, what do
you think is his name?

His name! as if I knew not his name: I have brought
him up ever since he was three years old, and his
name is Tranio.

Away, away, mad ass! his name is Lucentio and he is
mine only son, and heir to the lands of me, Signior Vincentio.

Lucentio! O, he hath murdered his master! Lay hold
on him, I charge you, in the duke's name. O, my
son, my son! Tell me, thou villain, where is my son Lucentio?

Call forth an officer.

Enter one with an Officer

Carry this mad knave to the gaol. Father Baptista,
I charge you see that he be forthcoming.

Carry me to the gaol!

Stay, officer: he shall not go to prison.

Talk not, Signior Gremio: I say he shall go to prison.

Take heed, Signior Baptista, lest you be
cony-catched in this business: I dare swear this
is the right Vincentio.

Swear, if thou darest.

Nay, I dare not swear it.

Then thou wert best say that I am not Lucentio.

Yes, I know thee to be Signior Lucentio.

Away with the dotard! to the gaol with him!

Thus strangers may be hailed and abused: O
monstrous villain!

Re-enter BIONDELLO, with LUCENTIO and BIANCA

O! we are spoiled and--yonder he is: deny him,
forswear him, or else we are all undone.

[Kneeling] Pardon, sweet father.

Lives my sweet son?

Exeunt BIONDELLO, TRANIO, and Pedant, as fast as may be

Pardon, dear father.

How hast thou offended?
Where is Lucentio?

Here's Lucentio,
Right son to the right Vincentio;
That have by marriage made thy daughter mine,
While counterfeit supposes bleared thine eyne.

Here's packing, with a witness to deceive us all!

Where is that damned villain Tranio,
That faced and braved me in this matter so?

Why, tell me, is not this my Cambio?

Cambio is changed into Lucentio.

Love wrought these miracles. Bianca's love
Made me exchange my state with Tranio,
While he did bear my countenance in the town;
And happily I have arrived at the last
Unto the wished haven of my bliss.
What Tranio did, myself enforced him to;
Then pardon him, sweet father, for my sake.

I'll slit the villain's nose, that would have sent
me to the gaol.

But do you hear, sir? have you married my daughter
without asking my good will?

Fear not, Baptista; we will content you, go to: but
I will in, to be revenged for this villany.

Exit

And I, to sound the depth of this knavery.

Exit

Look not pale, Bianca; thy father will not frown.

Exeunt LUCENTIO and BIANCA

My cake is dough; but I'll in among the rest,
Out of hope of all, but my share of the feast.

Exit

Husband, let's follow, to see the end of this ado.

First kiss me, Kate, and we will.

What, in the midst of the street?

What, art thou ashamed of me?

No, sir, God forbid; but ashamed to kiss.

Why, then let's home again. Come, sirrah, let's away.

Nay, I will give thee a kiss: now pray thee, love, stay.

Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate:
Better once than never, for never too late.

Exeunt